That closure? Gone.

That endless conversation? Gone.

That care and concern? Gone.

Everything's gone within that few days, with no explanations, no reasons, nothing. I even took that courage to ask what's wrong, but you seems like you're hiding things from me. I've been very straight forward ever since day 1, even until now, I'm still straight forward with what's on my mind. I don't hide what I feel, and maybe that's the reason why we end up like this.

If only I didn't mention anything about how I feel, I guess we will be friends -> close friends and stays there. If only I didn't mention about how I feel, things wouldn't get so stiff between us two. But I wonder if I didn't say anything, would we even chat as much? I wonder if I didn't say anything, would we even be friends from the start? I wonder if I didn't say anything, how would the "us" be like now?

But sometimes, life's like that. They put you into situations where you'll find yourself struggling, find yourself panicking, find yourself lost in the middle of nowhere. But what happened in the end, is that all these situations, will make you a stronger and better person.

I've no idea if I've told you this before, but you're the reason of why I wanna improve myself. To be a better person, to be a "somebody". Because the "me" right now, is someone who's bad and not successful yet. I know, even if I'm you, I wouldn't choose me. Cause there's so many better girls out there, why would you even want a girl who scold vulgarities, who acts like a guy, who is lazy to even put on make up, who is still schooling because she failed her module. With the "me" now, there'll be no bright future, I understand. But I'm trying my best, to be someone successful. To be someone better and be a somebody.

But I guess, even when I'm a somebody, you wouldn't want me too. Reason being, there's no feeling. Not at all. You told me, you don't let fate to decide for you. And with that, it makes me feel that even when you like me, you won't want to be with me. Because that's what you've already set from the very start.