Time check: 2.22am

Back here again with my late night thoughts. Another night when he's the reason of me having such thoughts. Hmmmmmm. Actually, I don't miss you like how I used to anymore. But tonight, I'm thinking about you, or I should say, us again. Just because of the words they say, and told me things I never knew when we are together back then, sigh.

I didn't know you're afraid to lose me when we are together back then. I really don't know. I don't know you're pushing me away because you think that you're not good enough for me and I deserve better. I didn't know all these till today. I really don't.

When we are together, all I thought was you trying to push me away because you no longer love me. I thought you did that because you don't want me anymore. I thought you did that because you think I no longer love you but another guy. I really never know you did all these because you think I deserve someone else.

Maybe what she said makes sense, you're trying hard to forget me. You're trying hard to use someone as a replacement so to remove me from your heart. To be very honest, I've no idea why, but after a few months you guys got together, I actually felt that you guys are just acting in front of me. So as to make me give up on you. I don't know how true my feeling was, but well, sixth sense told me so. I won't deny that part of me will never forget you, cause after all, you're once my love of my life.

One thing I will never understand is, why people used to tell me you'll come back to me one day? I really don't know why. I mean, yes, I used to think that you'll come back again. But as time passes, I know you won't, and you never will. From the start of your new relationship with her till now, there's still people asking what if you ever come back, what will I do? I really don't understand man. Is either people are not looking good on your relationship, or they think that at the end of the day, we will end up together again. Guess what, that day, she even told me if you ever contact me again, she wants to know as well. Why is everybody thinking that you'll contact me? I seriously don't understand why?!!!!

But one thing I'm very clear about is, I'm moving on with my life already. I will miss you/us, but I don't want you back; unless you tried very hard to prove to me that you've changed and you really deserve to get my trust and love back. If not, don't even think that I'll go back to you so easily. AHAHAHA! And if we ever ever ever get back together (which I highly doubt we would), I will never be that nice girlfriend anymore. And I'm sure I will never be that nice to you anymore.